Brunette Bachelorette
by wunderwolfer
Summary: Fangrai-Feburary prompt 137: Serah's organising a charity ball and forces Lightning to participate in the bachelor/bachelorette auction. However the person with the winning bid isn't a bachelor but a brunette bachelorette. Fang x Lightning
1. Chapter 1: The auction

**Fangrai-Feburary prompt 137**: Serah's organising a charity ball and forces Lightning to participate in the bachelor/bachelorette auction. However the person with the winning bid isn't a bachelor but a brunette bachelorette.

I got carried away and filled my own prompt...man I suck. Does that mean the prompt no longer exists because filling the prompt cancels out the act of prompting the prompt? Hmmmmm...

**Rating**: T

**Warning**: Yuri. And knowing me and my foul-mouth probably a bit of bad language. No beta = bad grammar. Kind of AU, imagine the events of FF13 happened but without Fang and Vanille and without Serah x Snow.

**Disclaimer**: Everything belongs to Square Enix.

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A secret about the the Farron sisters' relationship, a secret known only to a privileged few, was that Lighting was a very indulgent sister. She rarely denied her younger sister anything. But at this exact moment standing backstage at the New Bodhum Charity ball, it was one of those rare occasions.

"I said no!"

"Lightning please! Our final bachelorette dropped out at the last minute," Serah said desperately. "And if we don't have enough people for them to bid on we'll only just make enough to cover costs with only a little left for the charities."

Every year Serah asked Lightning participate in her charity auction and every year Lightning's answer was the same. "I am not going to paraded around like a piece of meat to a room of drunk and horny barbarians."

The audience on the other side of the stage gave a loud round of applause. Serah looked down at her clipboard for the name of the next auction participant. "Snow! Snow!" Serah shouted above the noise of the backstage, standing on tip-toes to search the dressing rooms.

The backstage was a hive of activity as Serah's army of volunteers rushed around readying the bachelors and bachelorettes for the auction section of the annual charity ball. It was astonishing how all this had started as a small fundraiser a few years ago. Now five years later Serah's hard work and determination had made the annual New Bodhum Charity ball the event of the season generating hundreds of thousands of gils for charity every year. Tickets were is such demand that Serah could charge whatever she wanted. And she did unmercilessly because it was much more satisfying extorting money from rich people. And she could because every aspect of the ball from the food to the music was of the highest standard. The auction was no exception and featured a variety of some of the most ellegable bachelors and bachelorettes in Gran Pulse. Bachelorettes like Lightning Farron

Serah began yelling into her headset just as the blonde man appeared. Towering above the crowd as he walked towards the pair. "Hi Lightning," Snow greeted giving the soldier his best stupid grin. "Heeeey Serah." He modified his grin into what he probably thought was a flirtatious smirk but to the soldier he just looked like he was straining. Lightning rolled her eyes at the lovesick fool. She wasn't surprised in the slightest that he had agreed to take part in the auction, he was always trying to impress Serah and get her attention. Unfortunately for the boxer her sister remained oblivious.

"Hi Snow," Serah said distractedly and without looking up from her clipboard pushed the large man through the curtains and onto the stage. "They are not barbarians Lightning they are our bidders and they are some of the most respectable people in Gran Pulse," Serah said firmly. Her reasoning was countermanded as the crowd on the other side the curtains descended into wolf whistles and 'yeah babies' as Snow fell onto the stage.

Lightning's pursed lips and raised eyebrow was the perfect expression of I-told-you-so.

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate?" Serah tried with a nervous smile.

"How flattering," Lightning deadpanned.

"I don't mean it like that! I mean because I know things like this make you feel so uncomfortable. But Lightning pleasssseeee, please, please, please," Serah begged grasping onto her sister's T-shirt. "You're the perfect bachelorette. You're single, intelligent, sexy-"

_Sexy_! Lightning grimaced as the word left her little sister's mouth."No now I'm uncomfortable."

"- and with you as the finale," Serah ignored her, "we'll end on a high and make a bucket load of money."

The little crease in Lightning's forehead told Serah that the soldier's resolve was hanging on by a small but durable thread. She really hadn't wanted to bring in this line of persuasion but she needed something big to break the soldier. Without an once of humour Serah said "if not for me then do it for Mum."

Lightning face softened. She couldn't really argue with that. Their mother's death had been the basis of so many of the sister's actions. Some of them good, some of them downright regrettable (especially in Lightning's case) but the Edda Farron memorial ball was one they could both be proud of.

She sighed in defeat. "You really have emotional blackmail down to a fine art," Lightning said dryly.

"I've had a lot of practice," Serah retorted and the sister's shared a warm smile.

Lightning looked down at her shirt and jeans. "Well I can't wear this." Her clothes were certainly not Serah standard.

Her sister looked Lightning up and down and hummed thoughtfully. "You're right." Serah grabbed her sister's hand leading her to the ladies dressing area. She squeezed between some dressing bachelorettes to the clothes rails. "Beverly, the woman who dropped out was about you're size," Serah explained handing Lightning a red dress with matching heels. "Joyce!" Serah bellowed. Lightning jumped as a small brown haired woman with glasses seemingly appeared out of nowhere and in under 30 seconds Joyce the dresser (at least Lightning hoped she was the dresser) had her undressed, dressed and in the stylist chair ready for hair and make-up.

Once Serah had made sure that Lightning was secured into the stylist chair she checked her watch. "Shoot, I'll have to love you and leave you I Need to be on stage to host the finale." Lightning silently scowled at her sister via the mirror as the make-up artist descended upon her dusting her face in concealer. "Try to have fun" Serah pleaded with her sulking sister before turning on her heels and quickly disappearing into the crowd.

"Easier said than done," Lightning muttered darkly. She may have agreed to do it but she never agreed to enjoy anything. The make-up artist finished by managing to apply lipstick to Lightning's pursed lips and was replaced by a tall stylish guy in a tight suit. Lightning concluded that he was the hair-stylist since he was holding some curling tongs. Her eyes narrowed on the implements and then the scissors, and razors, and various other hair torturing devices poking out of his tool belt.

She loved her sister but no one messes with the hair.

"Touch my hair with anything other than a hairspray," she warned the stylist in the mirror, "and I'll hide those tongs in a place you'll need medical intervention to find them."

The stylist considered Lightning's glare and wisely downed his tongs.

xxXOXxx

Five minutes later Lightning had to admit that the stylists had done a pretty good job. The red, knee-length dress fitted her perfectly, clinging to her body and excentuating her every curve. The make-up was understated and natural just how she liked it. And as for the hair, the stylist must be a genius or at least experienced in dealing with divas. He had managed to convince her to let him sweep her hair over from one side, holding most of it in a messy bun with a few loose curls that playfully fell onto her shoulder. So Lightning thought she looked 'pretty good' but the reality was that she looked stunning. The people backstage moved out of her way or just stopped to stare as she walked to the stage, her typical, confident stride becoming a unconscious strut in her highheels.

She reached the stage curtain and Serah's replacement with the clipboard. "And which bachellorette are you sweetie?" The blonde woman smiled cheerfully.

Lightning choose not to remark on the 'sweetie' but her face said everything. "I'm Beverley's replacement."

"Who," the blonde asked looking down at her clipboard.

"Beverley, the last bachelorette. The show finale," Lightning added when the woman still looked confused.

"Says here that's Captain Lightning Farron."

"Serah must have changed it," Lightning mused leaning forward to look at the list. "I'm Lightning."

"Oh hi Lightning it's nice to finally meet you," she gushed shaking the shocked pinkette's hand. "We were all wondering who was our finale. Serah said you were too busy doing soldier stuff for the rehearsals." The woman pointed at Lightning's name at the end of the list in big bold typeface.

Lightning's face dropped. There was no mention of a Beverley. Everything suddenly clicked into place - asking Lightning to come early to help backstage, the dress and heels that were conveniently her exact size, the emotional blackmail. Serah had finally tricked her into taking part in the auction by contriving a scenario that appealed to Lightning's gallant nature. She couldn't believe she'd fallen for such an obvious play. It was far to late to back out now but the saviour of Cocoon made a mental note to kill her deceitful, manipulative trickster of a sister.

"Don't look so worried sweetie," the woman said misinterpreting Lightning's angry frown, "just try to have fun."

"Why is everyone telling me to have fun," she mumbled to herself. The blonde attached a microphone to Lightning's dress and instructing her to wait behind the curtain until Serah's cue.

"And now for our grand finale and the surprise auction you've all been waiting for," "Serah announced from the stage. "She's the most highly decorated officer in the Guardian Corps who has defended us against monsters, armies and even the fal'Cie. Her skills as a warrior are legendary but if looks could kill she wouldn't need her gunblade. You know her as the Saviour of Cocoon but I know her as my big sister, CAPTAIN LIGHTNING FARRON."

The enthusiastic crowd Serah had worked into a frenzy erupted into thunderous applause as Lightning swept through the curtain and onto the stage. The stage found herself standing on was small compared to the large ballroom in front of her that was filled with people dressed in ball gowns and tuxedoes. Their elegant attire was a stark contrast to their unsophisticated behaviour with their noisy cheers, screams, hoots and wolf whistles in the beautiful soldier's direction. The typically solitary woman found the spotlight and loud crowd a distasteful assault on her senses. Her eyes narrowed to match the slight sneer on her lips as she looked down at the leering people below her and In the first time in the history of mass assemblies Lightning Farron Captain in the Guardian Corps managed to berate an entire crowd into submission with her glare.

Serah standing at a small auctioneer's podium rolled her eyes as the individuals of the crowd squirmed under Lightning's powerfully reprimanding stare. _Trust my sister to harsh the buzz of a room full of people_, Serah thought as the audience members modified their raucous behaviour into polite applause. It was going to take a hell of a spotlight interview with the woman to energise the crowd and get them interested enough to bid.

"So sis," Serah began when Lightning had finished glaring at the room, "tell the audience a little bit about yourself."

"Captain Lightning Farron of the Guardian Corps, 26, born in Bodhum," Lightning stated.

"Any hobbies?" Serah asked trying to encourage some more information out the stoic woman, something she could work with.

"Gunblades."

"Gunblades?"

Lightning folded her arms and almost looked as bored as the audience. "I collect Gunblades."

"Any other hobbies?" Serah said through gritted teeth.

Lightning ignored her sister's silent plea to be more entertaining for the now silent crowd. Silent except for one person in the crowd who loudly laughing, highly amused by the soldier's behaviour. "I collect parts to upgrade my gunblades," she said honestly (it wasn't her fault it was true).

"Errrrr describe your perfect date."

"Short."

Serah nearly wailed in despair.

"You like guns? I've got sum guns fa yerrrr baby." A man's voice shouted as he clambered onto the stage pumping his arms at the two shocked Farrons. A few voices in the crowd encouraged the intoxicated man as he staggered towards the pair reaching Lightning first as she stood protectively between Serah and the lout.

Lightning grimaced in disgust as he leaned in, breathing his alcoholic fumes on her face as he spoke. "Tell ya what," he proposed as he prodded the soldier's shoulder, "I'll give you 10,000 gills for a date with you," he leered leaning to look her sister up and down, "and your sis-taaaaarrrgghhhh."

Lightning had had enough. He screamed in pain as Lightning grabbed his prodding finger and twisted it painfully until he dropped to his knees.

"Don't talk about my sister," she advised him and lifting her leg used her high heel to push him backwards onto the floor. "And don't be crass," Lightning growled down at the man. She dug her heel into the fallen man's chest, the action stretching her red dress until it rose over her knee. "I cannot abide rudeness."

Lightning's performance was met with stunned silence. The hall had become so quiet and still it might as well have been empty. Serah finally gave in to despair and began to bash head against the podium at her disaster of a finale.

"500 gils!" A voice suddenly yelled at the back. Serah's head snapped up.

"No 1000 gils!" A different voice immediately outbid the first.

And suddenly the crowd erupted. Lightning found it was hard to keep track of the bidders as their bids bounced across the room in quick succession and the people that were not making offers cheered with each new bid, goading and encouraging the bidders to go higher and higher. The noise became almost defending (Lightning had policed quieter riots). Serah on the other hand excitedly followed the flow of the auction with ease accepting bids 500 gils at a time. She almost hugged herself with glee when Lightning surpassed all the previous auctions put together. Despite the temporary set back of Lightning's violent introduction, she knew Lightning would be a hit. _I mean who doesn't have a secret kink for women who are strong, independent, slightly aggressive and a bit scary._

As the price rose the bids began to slow until it seemed to be a heated battle between two participants hidden at the back of the hall. Lightning squinted in the bright spotlight finding herself slightly curious to see whomever was so fervently competing for a date with her. She stood on the groaning drunk guy to see if the extra height would give her a better view.

"25,000." Serah took the bid. "Do I hear 255...thank you 25,500. 26,000..come on now it's for a good cause...thank you 26,000. Do I hear 265...are you sure sir not 265? You're losing out on a unique opportunity? Okay so that's 26,000 gils going once, going twice...sold," Serah exclaimed as she brought down her gavel, "to the brunette bachellorette."

"BACHELLORETTE!"


	2. Chapter 2 Sneak peak

**Chapter 2 Sneak peak..**

"Bachellorette Serah! A bachellor-rette!"

Serah looked up at Lightning from her desk at the after auction bachelor/ bachelorette meet and greet. "Yeah. So?" She asked while thanking and accepting another cheque from a bidder. The sisters waited for Serah's assistant to lead him to his bachelorette.

"I'm not a lesbian," Lightning hissed quietly.

"You're not?" Serah questioned with a frown. It was news to her.

"No! What the hell gave you the idea that I was?"

"I dunno." Serah thought about it. "You've never really had any boyfriends but then when I think about it you've had a girlfriend either. I just figured you were sexually fluid like I am. You know sexy is sexy," she shrugged.

"Well I'm not. And will you please stop saying sexy." Lightning was already incredibly uncomfortable and she didn't need the added discomfort of imaging that her little sister found anything sexy ever.

"I'm sorry Lightning but I thought you knew that we don't limit our auction to heterosexual pairings."

"Well I didn't," Lightning huffed folding her arms. "We'll have to void the bid. I can't go on a date with a lesbian it would be misleading."

"For Etro's sake Lightning it's just a date. She's not expecting to get a toaster oven at the end of it," Serah scoffed.

"A what?" Lightning frowned in confusion. "What's a toaster oven?"

"Hi," a friendly voice interrupted them. "I think I may have just won you."

**TBC...**

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So hope you liked it. Not sure how to continue with this story - fierce, angst fest or simple, love carnival? Input on this or any aspect of the story will be much appreciated.

Apologies for the lack of updates on my other stories, very busy. Hopefully will update soon.

Happy new year to you all! I hope 2014 will treat you well.


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